The snowflake pattern of your voice: uniquely your own


For my entire career, I’ve heard comments like, “I really hate my voice. Can I do something about it?” Or “When I speak, it just doesn’t sound like me,” or “I really can’t stand the way I sound when I hear a recording of my voice.”

A voice disorder can do that—cause you to loathe the way you sound.  And if you’re transgendered, the cacophony of self-criticism can be deafening.

I was reading recently from the “Artist’s Way” (Julia Cameron, 1992). I dabble in a little creative writing on the side and was struck by the profundity of this statement: “The snowflake pattern of your soul is emerging,” (page 85).

Think about that.  We are each our own perfect snowflake—your heart, your soul, your voice is uniquely your own.

I’ve noticed that some of you have the ability to gather all your inner strength and wisdom and find some measure of peace along your journey of discovering, developing and mastering your feminine voice.

But for those of you limited in your ability to corral this fortitude, for those of you constantly berating yourself and your ability to achieve the voice you want, I say STOP!

If I were your medical doctor, and you were making yourself sick from, let’s say, smoking, I’d firmly state, “YOU’VE GOT TO QUIT. You’re going to kill yourself.

Consider that maybe all the self-loathing is just as deadly.  Maybe what stands in the way of your progress is your own opinion of yourself!

I’m not saying you shouldn’t practice or continue with the daily exercises you’re doing; I’m saying be aware of your self-talk.

For just one week, one teeny week, seven days, one-hundred sixty-eight hours, JUST QUIT hating on yourself.  When the thought springs into your mind, when the voice of your harsh critic puts in an appearance, JUST QUIT; tell it to go away.  And then laugh.  Laugh like a fool, like a mad-woman and know that with each chuckle, giggle or guffaw you are one step closer to the voice you’ve always dreamed of having.

Because that inner critic who has traveled so far and so long with you, needs to know that she is no longer welcome, that she no longer has a place in your mind.  She is not helpful.  She will tell you things that are not entirely true.

For just one week, QUIT the string of rants about who you are, about how you look and how you sound.  Just QUIT. You’re making yourself sick.



Think what a remarkable, unduplicatable, and miraculous thing it is to be you! Of all the people who have come and gone on the earth, since the beginning of time, not ONE of them was or is like YOU!

No one has exactly your eyes.  No one has exactly your face. No one’s finger prints are like yours. No one’s voice is like yours.  Like a snowflake pattern, you are uniquely you.

No one can reach out to others in the same way that you can. No one can speak your words. No one can convey your meanings. No one can comfort with your kind of comfort. No one can bring your kind of understanding to another person.

No one before, no one to come… is exactly like you.


Revel in your uniqueness. You do not have to pretend in order to seem more like someone else. You weren’t meant to be like someone else. You do not have to lie to conceal the parts of you that are not like what you see in anyone else.

You were meant to be YOU.

Nowhere, ever,  will the things that fill your mind, soul and spirit right now, happen to anyone else.  If you did not exist, there would be a hole in creation, a gap in history, something missing from the plan for humankind.

Treasure your uniqueness. It is a gift given only to you. Enjoy it and share it!

Receive it! Let it tickle you! Let it inform you and nudge you and inspire you!


You are your own perfect snowflake.


  1. Laura Michelle Flores says:

    Kathe, it’s as if you are connected to the very core of my mind. The snowflake message truly felt like it had been directed towards me. I constantly criticize myself. My voice my look. I am a bit of a perfectionist and so feel as if anything less than perfection is utter failure. I will do my best to take your “challenge” and go through an entire week without self criticism. Thank you so much for all you have done for me and others.

    • Kathe says:


      How did this week go? Were you able to stop yourself when the harsh critic was putting in her appearance? Have you been laughing at yourself?

      I’m so happy to see on my new blog! Let me know your questions.


  2. Elizabeth says:

    That is a cool message no matter who we are or what you are doing. Finding that unique comfortable voice is a fun challange and when I find it, I’m going enjoy it fully. Thanks for sharing this thought with us.

    • Kathe says:


      I hear ya, girl! Let’s all work on being at peace with the unique, beautiful us!


  3. Sherry Anne says:

    I enjoyed your article regarding being unique and how you mentioned to stop berating ourselves. I think being more positive and talking favor over ourselves will create a
    positive mind set and we will love who we are.

    Sherry Anne

    • Kathe says:

      Sherry Anne,

      Have you been able to laugh instead of berate yourself this week?

      I’d love to hear from you.


  4. Diane says:

    Very inspiring article.
    Thank you Kathe

  5. Karen says:

    Thank you for sharing these inspiring words. I struggle with being the me I want to be and with the me my current situation allows. I am finding my depression results from comparing myself with others that appear to have what I want. But I need to remind myself that this journey is not about image perfection. It is about achieving the expression of the authentic me. I have not found the courage yet to express the authentic me fully. But I believe this is the path to true happiness. Thank you for your work to help make my vocal expression authentically feminine.

    • Kathe says:


      I understand! When we have the proper motivation to develop tools and use them, we really can be free of that inner maniac who is so very harsh with us!

      A college professor once said to me that if we let other people talk to us the way we talk to ourselves, we wouldn’t stand for it! How true!

      I support you in letting go of “image perfection” and fall in love with EXACTLY who you are!

      Thank you for taking your time to read and comment on my first blog. I look forward to more interactions with you.


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    Hi Kathe! I have been using your voice lessons for a few weeks now. I travel a lot, and today I was driving for 9 hours. So I put in disc 3.
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    But my question is this.
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    I thought, perhaps, my breathing was off, so I kind of ‘hyper-ventilated’ or something.
    I eventually got back in my car. And about 30 minutes later completed the disc. Then I felt fine.
    Have you ever heard of this before?
    BTW, I’m extremely happy with my progress so far. Your courses are amazing.
    Love Ya-Amanda-

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