Archive for how to sound feminine

Step 11 November Fluency

 Fluency – Marvelously Mellifluous You!

When you speak, whose voice do you hear? Whose voice do others hear?

Our voices are so closely tied to the essence of who we truly are. Heart and soul and voice are one! In fact, here’s a curious little phonation fact; The left vocal cord nerve dips down into the chest, loops around the aorta, then courses back upward into the larynx. So, literally, our voices are connected to our hearts!

Fluency is the last of the “Nine Elements of an Exceptional Feminine Voice.” Let’s take a few moments and recap just what these are. You know more than anyone how difficult it is to change your voice; that’s why having a tried-and-true system makes all the difference.

 

The Nine Elements of an Exceptional Feminine Voice

  1. Pitch: The speaking pitch of the average adult male is 100-150 Hz; the speaking pitch of the average adult female is 200-250 Hz. I’ve provided many tips and strategies in other posts and YouTube tutorials to help you with this element.
  2. Voice Quality: The quality of the voice–whether it’s raspy, breathy, strained or weak–can provide insights to our physical health, moods and mental focus. Many transgender women produce a very feminine voice in order to sound feminine, but that’s not really an effective strategies.
  3. Loudness: The loudness of a voice isn’t inherently feminine or masculine. But there does seem to a shift toward a more feminine sound when the power is turned down a few notches.
  4. Resonance: The reverberation of sound in a medium, i.e., the throat, mouth or nose, shapes the tone into your own unique voice. Transitioning your voice requires significant re-programming of the small muscles of the throat and mouth to bring your vocal tone into a clear feminine ring.
  5. Articulation: There are some subtle, but important differences in the way men and women speak. Clear, crisp consonants add femininity to your expression.
  6. Phrasing: Studies suggest that women tend to speak in longer phrases than men. Try adding more descriptive adjectives to your expression.
  7. Pacing (tempo): While women tend to speak more quickly than men, it isn’t necessary to speed up your pace to sound more feminine.
  8. Melodic Intonation: The pitch variability of gliding up and down is a much greater range in women. Place more emphasis on certain syllables in a phrase.
  9. Fluency: “Smoothly flowing like golden honey” is the way I think of how a very feminine woman might speak. Speak mellifluously! Dance with your words!Fluency refers to the smooth vs choppy way you might speak. In musical terms, fluency is similar to rhythm. Rhythms may consist of a sense of easy flow (legato), which mean that notes are blended or connected. Staccato rhythms are halting or sharp.Listen to this short Bela Bartok piano piece. Pay close attention to the fluency, or connection of notes. Notice the abruptness of some of the notes compared to the flow of others.

Fluency refers to the smooth vs choppy way you might speak. In musical terms, fluency is similar to rhythm. Rhythms may consist of a sense of easy flow (legato), which mean that notes are blended or connected. Staccato rhythms are halting or sharp.

Step 11 Mellifluous

 

Listen to this short Bela Bartok piano piece. Pay close attention to the fluency, or connection of notes. Notice the abruptness of some of the notes compared to the flow of others.

Staccato = abrupt

Legato = smoothly flowing

 

Can you discern the legato vs staccato rhythm? In my (and others) observations of speakers, I hear men speak in a choppy, halting manner, whereas women speak in a smooth, flowing manner. Although women often speak quite rapidly, we do speak fluently.

ANGELINA JOLIE – *ELLEN -TAKING LIVES*PART 1 by screamingangie

Angelina Jolie is one of the most elegant and feminine women in the world (in my opinion). I love her voice and the smoothly flowing way her movements match the fluency of her voice. Notice the contrast to Ellen Degeneres, who has a more staccato style of speaking.

So, what is fluency exactly and why is it important for you as a transgender woman? It’s one of the elements that will complete you.

 

Three Tips to Feminine Fluency

Dance with Words

I was working on fluency with a client the other day, and out of the blue she said, “It sounds like we’re dancing with words.”

Dance with these words. Find the flow. Experience the melody. Absorb their essence.

  • The rushing stream washed the soil along with it.
  • The sun sank slowly and was followed by darkness and a foggy chill.
  • There is another alphabet, whispering from every leaf, singing from every river, shimmering from every sky.

Connecting Consonants

Those of you reading this, who know my method well, understand that one of the major practice strategies I employ is proprioception–being aware of the physical sensation/feelings of your speech and voice when you speak. Speech sounds can be categorized in several ways. For this exercise, let’s look at those consonants that we might call “stretched” consonants. Their properties allow them to stretch as you produce them, they include–s, z, sh, h, l, m, n, ng, etc. Conversely, can you think which consonants might be classified as “quick”?

Here’s a practice exercise: Cue yourself to notice the stretched consonants in these words. Then try using each word in a sentence and notice proprioceptively (the sensation of the sounds) the feeling of the stretched consonants.

  • Susurration
  • Feather
  • Eschew
  • Soliloquy
  • Syrup
  • Exquisite
  • Halcyon
  • Euphoria
  • Serendipity
  • Sonoluminescence

Elegant Elongations

Just as there are quick and streteched consonants, there are “short” and “long” vowels. Think back to your primary education; can you come up with three “short” vowels? How about three “long” vowels?  In nearly all of the training routines that I provide in my voice training programs, we vocalize using these three syllables, “hee,” “haa,” and “hoo.” Each of these is a “long” vowel, which by definition, means the vowel duration and voice onset time are longer (in time) than “short” vowels, like the /I/ in the word “hit.”

Now, as an exercise: Cue yourself to stretch the “long” vowels in these words more than you normally would the consonants in these words. Then try using each word in a sentence and notice proprioceptively how the vowels feel in your mouth.

  • Steep
  • Steel
  • Squeeze
  • Speech
  • Seen
  • Fleet
  • Seem
  • Sweet
  • Teem
  • Tree
  • Weed
  • Wheel
  • Wheeze
  • Freeze
  • Seethe

 

Step 10: Fluency

Bring your feminine voice into her glory. Dance with your words! Taste the sounds! Stay in touch.  I’d LOVE to know how you’re doing with Step 11.

 

Keeping you and your voice close to my heart,

Blue HeartKathe

Denver, Colorado

 

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WHAT IS PROSODY?

Prosody (pronounced pross-ə-dee) is the study of the timing and rhythm of speech and how these features contribute to meaning of what we say.

When one studies prosody, one studies the suprasegmental features of speech. These features of speech typically apply to a level above that of the individual phoneme or sound (the consonants and vowels), and very often to sequences of words (in prosodic phrases), and are referred to as suprasegmentals.

Feminizing your voice is so much more than pitch and resonance.  Your prosody–melody, flow, rhythm/tempo, the timing, the pauses, the phrase length, etc.–ALL communicate something about you.  These prosodic features of you (the speaker) or what you say (the utterance) reflect your emotional state; the form of the utterance (statement, question, or command); the presence of irony or sarcasm; emphasis, contrast, and mental focus/attention; or other elements of language that may not be encoded by grammar or choice of vocabulary.

Prosodic features are suprasegmental, because they are not confined to any one segment or phoneme, but occur in some higher level of an utterance. These prosodic units are the actual phonetic “spurts” or chunks of speech that hold the meaning of what we’re saying. They need not correspond to grammatical units such as phrases and clauses, though they may–these facts suggest insights into how the brain processes speech.

There are small but systematic differences in the way that men and women use language,
both in terms of what they say and how they choose to say it.

How you choose to say it is the essence of prosody.

A compelling study (2008) – “Gender Differences in Language Use: An Analysis of 14,000 Text Samples –asked that age-old question: Do men and women use language differently?

These researchers examined language usage of men and women in a large, heterogeneous sample of written and spoken texts. For the women (who contributed 8,353) text files to the study, language was more likely to be used for discussing people and what they were doing, as well as communicating internal processes to others, including doubts. Thoughts, emotions, senses, other people, negations, and verbs in present and past tense figured high on the list of words that women used more than men. For the men (who contributed 5,970 files), language was more likely to serve as a repository of labels for external events, objects, and processes. Along with discussion of occupation, money and sports, were technical linguistic features such as numbers, articles (like “a”, “an”, “the”), prepositions, and multi-syllabic words. Profanity added emphasis to male language.

Contrary to popular stereotypes, men and women were indistinguishable in their references to sexuality, anger, time, their use of first-person plural, the number of words and question marks employed, and the insertion of qualifiers in the form of exclusion words (e.g. but, although).

The results of this study provides further insights:

Different words. Women’s greater use of pronouns mirrored previous work by other researchers. This study also found that women used more intensive adverbs (e.g. carefully, 
eagerly, 
easily, 
loudly, 
quickly, 
quietly, well).

Successful replications for men’s language included substantially greater use of numbers, articles, multi-syllabic words, and profanity.

Reflecting the mixed bag of earlier work on emotional references, women use more affect words, but this was not restricted to positive emotions, as earlier studies have suggested.  Women were more likely than men to refer both to positive feelings and to negative emotions—specifically, sadness and anxiety. The previous finding of a male advantage in anger words was not replicated. The most striking discovery was that women, not men, were the more prolific users of first-person singular pronouns (i.e. I, me, and my).

This study found no evidence of any differences in overall word count between men and women in their language usage.

Different phrases. Polite forms of such phrases as “Would you mind if … ,” or “Should I get the …” appeared more often in women’s texts.  Women were more likely to hedge, by using such phrases as “I guess” but were no more likely than men to use words from the tentative category (e.g., maybe, perhaps). The use of phrases, such as “I guess” may reflect previous findings that women use more polite forms and are reluctant to force their views on other people.

Different sentences. This study found a small difference favoring women in use of negation (words such as no, not, never). They failed to find any tendency for women to use question marks, contrasting with earlier reports that women asked more questions and inserted more tag questions into their sentences.

Different messages. It is informative to consider the types of topics that men and women use their words to talk about. This study provides strong evidence that women seem to have more of a “rapport” style, discussing social topics and expressing internal thoughts and feelings more often, whereas men “report” more often, describing the quantity and location of objects.

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Over the next couple of months, we’re going to consider several prosodic features–the naturalizing elements of the feminine voice, which in my voice feminization training method include:  phrasing, pacing, melodic intonation and fluency.

Phrasing:

Your breath bookends each phrase you speak:  breathe – talk—breathe.  The root components of posture, breathing and pitch which were the first three steps in your year through the steps, hopefully are quite habituated by this time, eight months after you began your steps.

Continue to be metacognitive about your breath flow – in-breath; talk; in-breathe; talk, in-breath…

Why is phrasing important to you?  Let’s look at the practical side of this particular prosodic element – phrasing.  We just learned that women (more than men) tend to use polite forms of phrases such as,  “Would you please…”  “Is it possible for you to…”  “Might I ask you to…” to request an action or make a command of someone.  These extra words lengthen the phrase and thus require more air.  Notice that!

Exercise #1:

In-breath:  feel your belly gently expand as you breathe in.  Count: “1 – 2 – 3”.  Be metacognitive about the out flow.  Did you have too much air left over?  Did you use most of the air to say this three-syllable phrase? Did you forget about the other elements when you were just focused on phrasing?

Exercise #2:

Phrasing literally refers to words per breath.  So, how can you integrate the breath and maintain the other elements (such as pitch, articulation and resonance)?  You chunk down the overarching skill into manageable pieces and phrasing is one of the ways to do this.

Let’s consider some polite forms of requests or commands.

  • May I use your pen, please?
  • Would you mind bringing me a glass of water, please?
  • I guess I need to use your phone for a minute; mine doesn’t seem to have a connection.
  • Might I ask you for directions; I’m lost.

Use the bookend idea.  Take a gentle in-breath, feel the airflow outward as you speak, then take a gentle in-breath again. Voilà! The breath bookends the phrase.

NOTE: you don’t need a lot of air for these simple phrases.  In fact, many people take too much air and end up feeling light-headed when they speak.

Now, decide which element you want to train.  For example, if you want to be sure you’re mastering your feminine pitch tune your voice to the A3 pitch as you already know how to do.  Watch your frequency tuner as you use your phrasing technique and repeat the phrases above.

Exercise #3:

As we just learned from this study, men and women tend to talk about different things.  As women, we appear to have more of a “rapport” style of communicating.  We talk about social topics, our internal thoughts and feelings, and we use chit-chat with girl friends to process our experiences.

Create a list of things your feminine self likes to chat about: how you feel, what news story has you worked up, what thoughts are waking you up in the middle of the night, what great joy you’ve experienced, what deep fear is keeping you realizing your dream.

In case you’re feeling stuck for ideas, try this blog post Knight Stivender’s  Life in Full.

Now, shape these ideas into phrases and practice. Oh, and remember to record yourself occasionally. You’ll be shocked in about six months what you once thought was “pretty good.”

Step 8:  Phrasing

For August, your goal is to observe polite forms of request and command phrases.  Then create a list of phrases that would apply to you and your world.  Now practice, practice, practice.  And always, use your metacognitive and proprioceptive strategies.

I’d LOVE to know how you’re doing with Step 8. Stay in touch over the month.

Keeping you and your voice close to my heart,

Kathe

Denver, Colorado

For my entire career, I’ve heard comments like, “I really hate my voice. Can I do something about it?” Or “When I speak, it just doesn’t sound like me,” or “I really can’t stand the way I sound when I hear a recording of my voice.”

A voice disorder can do that—cause you to loathe the way you sound.  And if you’re transgendered, the cacophony of self-criticism can be deafening.

I was reading recently from the “Artist’s Way” (Julia Cameron, 1992). I dabble in a little creative writing on the side and was struck by the profundity of this statement: “The snowflake pattern of your soul is emerging,” (page 85).

Think about that.  We are each our own perfect snowflake—your heart, your soul, your voice is uniquely your own.

I’ve noticed that some of you have the ability to gather all your inner strength and wisdom and find some measure of peace along your journey of discovering, developing and mastering your feminine voice.

But for those of you limited in your ability to corral this fortitude, for those of you constantly berating yourself and your ability to achieve the voice you want, I say STOP!

If I were your medical doctor, and you were making yourself sick from, let’s say, smoking, I’d firmly state, “YOU’VE GOT TO QUIT. You’re going to kill yourself.

Consider that maybe all the self-loathing is just as deadly.  Maybe what stands in the way of your progress is your own opinion of yourself!

I’m not saying you shouldn’t practice or continue with the daily exercises you’re doing; I’m saying be aware of your self-talk.

For just one week, one teeny week, seven days, one-hundred sixty-eight hours, JUST QUIT hating on yourself.  When the thought springs into your mind, when the voice of your harsh critic puts in an appearance, JUST QUIT; tell it to go away.  And then laugh.  Laugh like a fool, like a mad-woman and know that with each chuckle, giggle or guffaw you are one step closer to the voice you’ve always dreamed of having.

Because that inner critic who has traveled so far and so long with you, needs to know that she is no longer welcome, that she no longer has a place in your mind.  She is not helpful.  She will tell you things that are not entirely true.

For just one week, QUIT the string of rants about who you are, about how you look and how you sound.  Just QUIT. You’re making yourself sick.

________________________________________

YOU ARE UNIQUE

Think what a remarkable, unduplicatable, and miraculous thing it is to be you! Of all the people who have come and gone on the earth, since the beginning of time, not ONE of them was or is like YOU!

No one has exactly your eyes.  No one has exactly your face. No one’s finger prints are like yours. No one’s voice is like yours.  Like a snowflake pattern, you are uniquely you.

No one can reach out to others in the same way that you can. No one can speak your words. No one can convey your meanings. No one can comfort with your kind of comfort. No one can bring your kind of understanding to another person.

No one before, no one to come… is exactly like you.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY UNIQUE!

Revel in your uniqueness. You do not have to pretend in order to seem more like someone else. You weren’t meant to be like someone else. You do not have to lie to conceal the parts of you that are not like what you see in anyone else.

You were meant to be YOU.

Nowhere, ever,  will the things that fill your mind, soul and spirit right now, happen to anyone else.  If you did not exist, there would be a hole in creation, a gap in history, something missing from the plan for humankind.

Treasure your uniqueness. It is a gift given only to you. Enjoy it and share it!

Receive it! Let it tickle you! Let it inform you and nudge you and inspire you!

YOU ARE UNIQUE!

You are your own perfect snowflake.

30-Day Crash Course

Fundamentals of Your Feminine Voice

Beyond the Fundamentals 1: the next dimension

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